Hello to all my wonderful readers!
If you’re reading this post, then like me, you may be thinking about all the things you’re realising as you’re progressing through your twenties and wondering if others are thinking/experiencing the same things.
I feel like I’m such a different person to who I was before graduating and joining the official adult world (can I go back to being a student please?!). I feel like being in your twenties is kind of torn between two worlds, on one side you’re still young and want to go out and have fun but the other side is you’re 25 now time to settle down. Anyone else feel this way?
Below are the ten main things I’ve realised or am realising/experiencing and would love to hear if you guys feel the same or have realised anything else. Don’t hesitate to get in touch!
- Love yourself: I will always remember a substitute lecturer coming into class at University telling us he would give us the most useful advice you could ever have, and we all braced ourselves thinking it was going to be something stupid…he said “If you don’t blow your own trumpet-nobody else will”. At first I thought yeah maybe, but during the last 5 years I realised that it honestly was the best piece of advice.
Since graduating, I’ve learned (often the hard way), if you constantly put others before yourself, you can miss out. This is your life and you’re not being selfish by pursuing what you want.
Get some self-confidence (I know this sounds easier than it actually is) get out there and try new things. As you learn who you are, you’ll notice that confidence comes hand in hand with that. Actually, more people are drawn to confident people than shy people.
You’re at a peak time of finding yourself, and you need to do that and actually embrace who you are. We are all different and that’s what makes the world interesting. Always keep your head held high and who cares what others think!
2. Slow and steady wins the race: Come on, I know you think the same as me on this one. Literally every time I go onto a social media platform whether it’s Facebook, Instagram, twitter etc, another person from my high school year group got engaged, someone else just bought their first home, someone else is having a baby, and you end up comparing yourself and calling yourself a failure because you’re 25, single and still don’t know what you want to do with your life. Maybe you’re questioning if you’ll ever get married or be able to afford a home. Guess what-you’re not a failure for not settling down mid-twenties, you’re not a failure because you’re single, you’re not a failure because you didn’t start a multi-million pound company while studying full time! You’re just putting pressure on yourself.
Wouldn’t you rather marry the right person, or buy a NICER house later on in life than rushing thinking you’re on track because you’re doing things alongside other girls your age? NO! I hate to rant but all of those things will come eventually, and you should focus on enjoying life before it happens. Once you get married, commit to a mortgage or have a kid-that’s a huge commitment. When it happens it happens, it may seem like never but believe me it will. This was a big one for me (especially with being able to buy a house). The thing to do is write a list of all your achievements-that’s evidence in black and white that you’re a success and NOT a failure.
3. Only a few friends left-As you get older, you soon realise who you can count on. Unfortunately, it’s in the times that you actually need a friend that you realise who is really there for you. I hate to sound negative, but the reality is that most people you were friends with as a teen or early twenties- won’t keep in touch with or be as close to you as you thought. People do change and people move away, and not everyone will reciprocate efforts to keep in contact.
If you have a friend who only ever texts you when you message first or when they need something from you-then you should really look at if they’re a “real friend”. A friendship is 2 ways and lots of people turn their backs or find other friends. It is sad I know, but wouldn’t you rather have 2 great friends than 4 ‘fake friends’ or friends who don’t reciprocate your efforts? Don’t be keeping people around for fear of being alone, you’d rather be alone than with dishonest people or people who don’t make you feel special.
4. Change is not a bad thing-in the real world life can be pretty tough. You may find yourself moving cities, moving jobs etc and that can sound quite scary but it’s not. I know so many people who are worried about having a career change completely different from their degree and there’s no need to be worried. Not everyone knows age 18 when they pick A-level subjects what they want to do for the rest of their life, and your interests are going to change as you grow older. I know plenty of people who have graduated and pursued a completely different career path. I myself decided to have a change. Yes, it was scary, but was it worth it? YES. Don’t be worrying about what people will think, or how your CV will look. It’s your happiness, and no resume, family opinion etc is worth living the rest of your life resenting your job and wondering what if. Be bold and be brave-you want to live your BEST life not an average “Getting by” life.
5. Who cares what they think-when I was younger I always used to worry about people not liking me and the more I get older the less I care. It’s not that my behaviour has changed, I’m still as bubbly and friendly as always have been, but I’m less hurt if someone doesn’t like me. At the end of the day, you can’t please everyone. If you make an effort with someone and they choose not to be friendly back then it’s their loss. You just care about being the person you want to be rather than what others think. The older you get the more you realise their opinion is irrelevant. If you eliminate the negative people from your life then the happier you will be.
6. Take care of yourself-I hate to sound like a concerned mum; but your twenties are the time to start taking better care of yourself. A once energetic teen who could eat and drink as much as they wanted is now a distant memory for us all. Any of you find you can’t handle a night out well and genuinely think they’re dying when the hangover kicks in?-Guess what-Your body is changing! In today’s day and age going to the gym and eating clean is not just really healthy but it’s actually a trend. There are tonnes of YouTube videos online if you can’t afford a gym and loads of easy recipes too for planning meals. You’re not being boring for taking care of yourself-you actually could be someone’s motivation!
I guess with age start coming the lines too so I think maybe it’s time to start looking at pro retinol face creams haha. I’m still scouting one so if you guys have any recommendations for a firming eye cream or face cream then please let me know!
7. The world isn’t rainbows and sunshine-Let’s be honest life can be hard at times. The phrase “life’s a bitch”-couldn’t seem truer in these moments of despair. There are days where some of you may just feel down, or lonely, or exhausted. You’re not on your own believe me. It’s times like this where I find speaking to friends or listening to music helpful.
My best advice for this is basically preparing yourself for the possibility of rejection. It’s part of life. The famous saying is “prepare for the worst and hope for the best” and I just love it. By living life this way you’re preparing yourself for rejection and will be able to manage better. It sounds very blunt, but the truth is – you won’t get every job you apply for, not every relationship will work out, life can get really stressful and busy at times (and everything seems to happen all at once). When you feel yourself getting overwhelmed think about the fact everyone will face rejection at some point in their lives. I also find writing down my worries/to do lists so that my mind can relax and knows I can’t forget anything as it’s written down. That’s just me but you may find your own ways.
8. Finding a balance-A lot of the older generation will tell you start putting money aside, others may say live your life, enjoy yourself. Both are true. Yes, saving is such a key thing; but I think it’s important to actually enjoy your money too-otherwise what’s the point in going to work every day?! At one point in my life I was not going out and always putting every penny I had free aside for a house deposit. It’s so important for me, but I also realise now that I can save less and have some money aside to have fun with rather than living without anything to look forward to. I found that setting myself a budget each month with a miscellaneous category really helpful. It meant I was still saving (and I knew how much), but I wasn’t feeling guilty for going for lunch, or going to the cinemas as I’d already accounted for things like that with this extra category.. We all go to work every day and earn our wages, we have to enjoy that money too, not just pay the bills and save. Go have fun, while you’re not tied down, you’re young and free-go and make memories. Experience the world-if you don’t you may very well forget it.
9. Don’t take people for granted-This one pretty much says it on the tin. If you have people in your life who you love and appreciate then you should 100% remind yourself regularly how much they mean to you, how much they do for you. I think it’s all too easy to get used to things and forget how much people care for you. Keep the important people close to you and don’t lose them. Believe me you will regret it if you don’t.
10. Relax – take it easy!-Remember to take it easy sometimes! Life goes by soooo fast as you know, so just make sure to regularly take the time to actually CHILL OUT. If you’re doubting how successful you are just take a look at where you were 3 years ago. I can guarantee there’s at least one thing you’ve done that you’re proud of, or an achievement that has affected your life for the better. Don’t dwell on the past, don’t obsess with the future-yes have the future in mind but also live in the present or you will wonder where the time went and will only have memories of planning ahead. It’s not a competition between you and your peers-it’s your life and it’s up to you to make it a good one.
Obviously I’m no counsellor or life coach but I hope that reading this has made you think about your life in a better way and made you think about the people you need and want in your life and things you want to achieve. We are at a really important and in some ways dictating period so it’s important to do what you want to do! It’s your life and nobody else’s! I wish you the best of luck chasing your dreams.